What matters most to you and why?
Rewrite/edit an admission essay provided on “What matters to you most and why?”
Admission Essay: What matters most to you and why?
Thud! It was almost midnight in the summer of 2002 when I was woken up by a loud noise. I could hear my parents arguing. Yet again. I mustered all the courage I could and walked up to their room and saw a pitcher of milk lying on the floor. In a fit of rage my father had smashed the pitcher of milk that my mother would give him every night. While my mother tried to calm him down, I started picking up the pieces of glass and cleaning the milk, pushing down all the feelings of anger, grief and fear to help my mother in the best way I could. As I sat there, picking up pieces I thought to myself “Why can’t we run away?”, “Why won’t she answer back?”, “Why does she have to put up with all the rage, the shouting and smashing of things and suicide threats?”. The 7 year old me could not comprehend the complexity of the situation – she came from a small town in India, was married off as soon as she graduated to a man she barely knew and was forced to quit her job when I was born. I understood the importance of freedom, Independence, Education and money very early on in life. I believed if I worked hard enough, I could get us out of the rut and hard work is what I did. I studied and hoped and dreamed of a world where I would not be dependent on anyone. Where I would not have to worry about raising my kids if I were to leave my husband.
So almost a decade later when I asked my mother if I could go to the United States to do my Bachelors she was supportive but the entire family was apprehensive. My family couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea that a girl who was barely allowed to step out of the house for school and extracurricular activities, could go to a country across the globe with no family or friends. Moreover, the idea that my mother would spend her life savings on my education as opposed to saving for my younger brother’s college seemed absurd to them. After all, why would she spend money on a girl if the flag bearer for the family was still young. But I managed to get a 75% scholarship to University of Texas at Arlington and a student loan in India and there was nothing to stop me. This was my first big step towards my dream, towards the promise that my 7 year old self had made to herself. So at 18, I moved to the US with 2 suitcases, and countless dreams. 4 years of college was a crucial experience in shaping me, my thoughts, my personality, figuring out what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be and paved the way for it. Although the stark difference in the cultures was difficult to cope with, I could finally taste freedom. I was responsible for myself and my actions. If I stumbled, I was the only one to pick myself up, figure out what went wrong and learn. It was a huge opportunity to learn and grow.
Life has a humorous way of putting you in situations you have worked all your life to rise above. 6 years later, just when I thought I had everything – a degree, good job, good but emotionally abusive partner I was at a crossroad where once upon a time my mother was and I had to choose between love and oppression versus myself and my freedom. Only I was well equipped with my experiences, education, financially independent, knew what I was worth and the choice although painful was very easy and obvious. This felt like a test to see if I could hold my ground and choose what I worked for all my life – my independence and I felt immense pride in making that decision.
A year later, in 2021 when I visited India I bought a house for my mother. Sure, it had been 2 decades and she didn’t need it anymore; I wanted to fulfill a goal I set for myself when I was 7. When I paid the downpayment and signed the papers I realized I was no longer scared or angry. I was capable of making my own decisions, I had my education, financial security and life experiences however little, to back me up. I celebrated because life came full circle.
So in 2022 as I was dreaming of more things to achieve, to start a new chapter by strengthening my foundation with more education, I introspected a lot about what matters the most to me – my friends? Love? Truth? Integrity? or My mother who sacrificed her life for me? and I realized my answer lied in a seemingly trivial incident in my childhood. For a south asian woman from a middle class conservative family – my freedom and Independence in all its forms – emotional, financial and cultural, matters the most to me.
