Discussion 14: Nonverbal Observation
You want to choose someone who is not alone—someone sitting or talking with another live person, not someone on a cell phone. Although it is hard these days, try to find people who aren’t texting or scrolling through their phones the entire time. You will need to observe both people or the entire group for interaction, but you want to focus on one main person to write about. You may want to write down some notes to yourself as you watch. Each answer should be a paragraph (a minimum of 5–7 sentences) in length. In particular, look for some of the following things:
Briefly explain the context…where were you? Who were you watching? Why did you choose this person? What was it about the interaction that got your attention?
What kind of gestures did you see? Describe the gestures. Don’t just say, “she used her hands a lot.” How? There’s a difference between pointing your finger in someone’s face and stroking someone’s face. Did it seem this person needed his/her hands to express themselves? Did he or she have any repetitive habits like drumming his fingers or playing with her hair? Did this person touch someone with them? What did the touch tell you? Would you say this person used his or her whole body to communicate, or did this person make only small, occasional movements and gestures?
Did this person’s clothing or body say anything about him or her? Describe what he/she is wearing. A T-shirt with a slogan or art? Do you see any tattoos, piercings, etc.? Jewelry? Dressed up or casual? Did you feel he or she was appropriately dressed for the time and place?
What about eye contact? Did this person sustain eye contact with whomever he/she was with? Some eye contact? A lot of eye contact? Smiles? Frowns? Would you say based on the nonverbal behavior that you would describe this person as happy, sad, preoccupied, friendly, quiet, standoffish, what?
What did this experience show you about communicating nonverbally? How might this experience affect how you interact in the future? How do you feel verbal and nonverbal communication differ after doing this exercise? Does nonverbal communication enhance or distract?
Overview
Nonverbal communication encompasses the broad spectrum of messages we send without verbalizing our thoughts or feelings; it can be intentional or unintentional. Included in this definition are bodily movements, space, touch, personal appearance, paralanguage, silence, and time. This discussion gives you the opportunity to observe nonverbal communication from an outsider’s perspective. As you observe, consider the following:
Bodily Movements:
Emblems are body motions that take the place of words (for example, using your hands for “stop” or “Time out”).
Illustrators are nonverbal symbols that reinforce a verbal message (for example, hugging someone while saying that you missed them).
Affect displays are nonverbal signs of our emotional state (for example, giving someone a cold stare if you are angry).
Regulators are nonverbal behaviors used to control, or regulate, communication between people (for example, looking at your watch).
Adaptors are nonverbal behaviors individuals use to adjust to or cope with uncomfortable communication situations (for example, tapping feet or fingers when nervous).
Space:
Intimate space is that distance at which it is appropriate for highly personal communication encounters to occur; this area ranges from actual touching to approximately 18 inches.
Personal space is that distance most appropriate for interpersonal interactions dealing with personal matters; this is approximately 18 inches to 4 feet.
Social space is that distance most appropriate for communication of a non-personal nature, such as a meeting; this is approximately 4-12 feet.
Public space is the distance exceeding 12 feet and is most appropriate for public communication.
Touch is a form of nonverbal communication that conveys a wide range of emotions (for example, a slap or punch when angry).
Personal Appearance and clothing – the way we dress and present ourselves becomes part of the message we send to others, whether we intend it to or not. Our clothing and style of dress contribute to the way we see ourselves and the way others perceive us.
Paralanguage is the vocal aspect of delivery that accompanies speech and other nonverbal utterances, including pitch (tone), volume (loudness), rate (speed), quality (richness of one’s voice), and fillers (words such as uh, um, like).
Silence is the absence of using your voice. When we choose not to speak, we are sending a strong message to others. Silence can communicate anger, disappointment, embarrassment, and even affection.
Time – think about the message we send with our use of time. What does being prompt or on time mean? What about being late?
