Abstract
The book discusses various events that depict Janet Mock’s confusion with her gender identity. In the first chapter, Janet mock introduces her siblings and the childhood memories she had. In the second chapter, Janet introduces the readers to the relationship between the father and a boy. In the third chapter, Janet discusses her experiences with her first crush, Derek. The fourth chapter discusses Janet’s relationship with the father in detail and reviews his positive side. In this chapter, Janet discusses the father’s family in Dallas. Finally, the story ends, and Janet goes to Honolulu to stay with the mother. She still struggles with her identity, acceptance, and support,especially from her father and family.
Introduction
In the book redefining realness by Janet Mock, the author struggles with her gender
identity. Additionally, other themes of love, family and sexuality, and sexual abuse emerge with the influence of other characters. The author presents the events concisely, and not very vividly, traumatizing, and emotively, which entertains and educates the reader. These events tie to the various themes in the book, such as love and gender identity. Janet Mock goes through the journey to self-discovery in terms of gender identity and love. This paper highlights the life story of Janet Mock and how various events contributed to her gender identity confusion and discovery. The book has an interconnection between redefining realness, sexuality, and gender identity.
Major Arguments in the Redefining Realness
First, the transition of a girl child to womanhood entails experiences and lessons regarding sexuality and gender identity. The second argument is that being female does not necessarily guarantee the successful transition to womanhood. The third argument is that various factors contribute to women’s path to womanhood, identity, love, and other matters.
Gender Identity in Janet Mock’s Childhood
Janet Mock was assigned the male gender when she was called Charles. However, she had the innate feeling that she was given the wrong gender, which went on until Janet was 30 years old.
She had various sexual encounters with men such as Derek, who took advantage of her, a habit that continued for a significant period. These experiences significantly impacted her view of men and sex. Janet claims that “I was prime prey. He could smell the isolation on me, and I was lured into believing the illusion that he truly saw me. I was a child, dependent, learning, unknowing, trusting, and willing to do what was asked of me to gain approval and affection” (Mock 47). She states that a child would feel that an action is wrong but would still proceed with it. This act
validates the girl in her and showcases her schema of femininity. Derek, Janine’s son, is close to Janet, though in a negative manner. Janet learns of sex from Derek with activities such as grinding. Janet sees these events as a punishment for how she behaved and feels guilt. She felt that women were sex objects because of how Derek treated her.
Also, she had a particular perception of how women should act, submit to men, and do whatever they wanted. She felt that women were sex objects. She also felt that women were weak and with low potential. She perceived a secretarial job as the best occupation for a woman.
Janet’s father had issues regarding her behavior and sexuality as he felt that she was deviating from what society had prescribed and expected of her. The father was harsh, and Janet strives to him while at the same time being herself. The father quarreled with her and claimed that Janet was acting like a sissy. Janet argues that “sissy became one of the first epithets thrown at me with regularity. My father would say stop being a sissy with the same ease as he’d say I love you baby” (Mock 31). The father expected Janet to behave in a manner that is consistent with the societal norms and expectations. These events showcase the gender norms that society prescribes from an early age. These events show that societal norms and parental style have a significant impact on the sexuality of an individual. Nonetheless, Janet continues with the transition from her previous to her current gender identity.
Gender Identity in Janet Mock’s Youth
In her youth, Janet had various experiences that changed her mentality about sexuality and relationships. She experiences a non-sexual or intimate relationship with a boy. Janet gets another crush on a boy younger than Derek, who shows her that sex is meant to show affection.
The author predicts a gay identity for Junior. Junior felt that Janet was granting him favors though he did not yet identify with the gay identity. Further, Janet continues to discuss her encounters and relations with men with varying sexualities.
Also, Janet identifies and resonates with the gender of her grandmother, mother, and aunties. She gets a chance to bond with her grandmother, aunt Joyce, and Linda. These characters introduce Janet to the positive side of womanhood, contrary to the perception she had before. Janet states that “My grandmother and my two aunts were an exhibition in resilience and resourcefulness and Black womanhood.
They rarely talked about the unfairness of they rarely talked about the unfairness of the world with the words that I use now with my social justice friends, words like intersectionality and equality, oppression, and discrimination. They didn’t discuss those things because they were too busy living it, navigating it, surviving it” (Mock 65). Janet was amused with the femininity of her grandmother and mother. She felt that their personality and behaviors were almost similar felt a sense of belonging.
Further, she starts to get a clear picture of her sexuality and reaches a point of self-discovery. Eventually, the father embraces Janet’s personality and gender identity and expresses his love for her. These events show the impact of various relationships in the journey to womanhood. The positive relationships, especially from the females, immensely contributed to her self-realization and acceptance. It also indicates that self-realization and self-acceptance eventually advance to others. The father embraced Janet and her sexuality when she had also reached the point of self-discovery and self-actualization.
Gender Identity in the Modern World
The story about Janet Mock and her struggles with gender identity, love, family, sexuality, and sexual abuse still occurs in the modern world. Janet Mock shares her life story that reflects the literary tradition of women of color. She employs these concepts to relate to the situation where women of color have a challenging experience with their sexualities. In the United States, there is racism, and black females have a problem with their sexual preferences and encounters.
Various factors impact one’s outlook and perceptions regarding sexuality and gender, such as childhood experiences, upbringing, and the social environment.
Lessons Learned from the Confusion
The first lesson is an interconnection between redefining realness, sexuality, and gender identity in the book. The transition of a girl child to womanhood entails experiences and lessons regarding sexuality and gender identity. The second lesson is that being female does not necessarily guarantee the successful transition to womanhood. Being female merely attributes to one’s gender or sex. On the other hand, womanhood entails having a sense of direction and standing with matters of sexuality. The woman ensures she has consistency and ground while being physically holy, politically aware, and leading a meaningful and successful life. The third lesson is that various factors contribute to women’s path to womanhood, identity, love, and other matters. For instance, such as childhood experiences, upbringing, and the social environment have an impact on the journey to womanhood.
Representation, Relevance, and Themes
The book is a memoir of Janet Mock’s path to womanhood, identity, love, and other subjects. The book represents a freedom narrative that features a woman who realizes self, love, and happiness. Janet Mock shares her life story with subjects such as fantasies and romance that reflect women of color’s literary tradition. The story comprises various events and behaviors that tell the history and build a new story altogether. The memoir is significant to sexuality because it highlights themes that focus on sexuality. These themes include self-identity, love, different kinds of relationships, child molestation, sexuality, and sexual abuse. Janet mock offers the readers a guide on the journey from childhood to womanhood, focusing on sexuality.
Discussion Questions
1.Janet Mock claims the sexual abuse she experienced is not the reason why she is
transgender. However, people who are transgender are more predisposed to violence and sexual abuse.
Is this situation because society has not accepted this group and is abusive to them because they are different and deviate from what they perceive as normal?
Or is it the high risk of abuse by people who are transgender because of their social learning to be silent, numb, and disconnected from the society for the society to accept them more?
Hence, they make themselves more vulnerable to violence and sexual abuse?
Based on the possible causes for the violence and sexual abuse, what strategies could prevent or reduce the rate of violence and sexual abuse that people who are transgender encounter?
2.Janet’s life events and related events mainly stem from her desperation. She had the
desire to people even if what she did was hurting her. She strove to her
father, so he would embrace her and love her. She was also desperate when Derek
continually abused her because she wanted him to love and appreciate her. Because of her desperation, she made several choices regarding her relationship with men and her father.
How does desperation influence her life and that of her mother and father?
3.Janet Mock explains the interaction of hierarchies when a person is placed in the world.In society, groups of people are often disadvantaged and do not receive similar treatment as others. Society is often harsh on the minority groups and the poor. Further deviating from the societal norms attracts more discrimination and harshness.
Do you think Janet’s experiences would have been different if she was white, from the middle class, not as attractive as she was or if she had transitioned at an older age?
4.Society prescribes how women are supposed to behave and look. There are social norms and expectations that one should not deviate from, or society will regard them as outcasts.However, times are changing, and these norms and expectations are eroding. Men can now nurse infants, cook, do the laundry and even pour out their emotions. Women also can work, lead others and provide for their families. The book by Janet Mock wrote the book at a time when society had certain expectations of women.
Therefore, there are differences between gender norms in the book and the contemporary world.
Also, there are differences between sex and gender. So, what does it mean to be a woman and feminine?
Does being feminine mean you are a woman? Does the element of being sensitive mean you are a woman? If one cuts their hair, do they seize to be a woman?
Discuss these questions as per the book’s context and the contemporary world in relation to black feminism.
